Parents must understand this clearly, that the sole purpose of parenting is to raise children whose lives are correct, 100 percent. How could this purpose be accomplished, the answer is very simple: Training. As parents, you must train up your children deliberately and purposefully, and this requires planning.
Children whose lives are correct, 100 percent do not turn out by accident; they are the product of the efforts of committed, godly parents.
In this blog post, you are going to understand:
- The fundamental children-training principle.
- That children cannot live a correct life, all by themselves.
- Ways parents do provoke their children to anger and how to avoid it.
A. The fundamental Children-training principle.
- The most fundamental children-training principle of all is: “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it”.
- Our basic job as parents is to teach our children to think right, talk right, and live right—to show them the right way to live.
- In order to show the way to our children we must know the way ourselves. If we don’t know the way, how can we show the way? How can you train up your children to live right if you don’t know how to live right?
- Our first job as parents is to study and know for ourselves the way that our children should go so that we can show them the way. And what is the way? It is the way of righteousness and godliness.
- Learning the way of righteousness and godliness is a life-long process for us as well as for our children. So, even as we are learning the way, we must model it and teach it so our children.
- Parents who know the way show the way so that their children will grow into correct, fruitful, productive and fulfilled adults.
- Parenting is intentional and must begin immediately upon the birth of each child.
- Waiting until children are teenagers to get serious about training them is too late.
- It is never too early to begin training a child.
- Even infants learn quickly and benefit significantly from a deliberate parental plan of training and instructions.
- Repeated studies have made it clear that children learn everything they need to learn in their first seven years of life. After age seven, children learn only what they want to learn.
B. Children cannot raise themselves
- Modeling the right way to live for our children is critical to their health, welfare, and success.
- The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.
- Humans are not designed for self-raising. That’s what parents are for: to love, nurture, care for, and train children to become mature, happy, and successful, productive, and well-adjusted adults.
- Age-appropriate responsibility means training up your children and assigning tasks to them according to their ability to respond (which is what the word “responsibility” means).
- God designed children for play. That’s how they learn how they become creative, how they grow. Children learn to socialize and relate to other people properly through play, not through work.
- Children are not merely pint-sized adults, and it is wrong to treat them as such. They need patient guidance, careful instruction, consistent discipline, and clearly defined boundaries. All of these things are vital for a child’s sense of safety and security.
- If a child is headed in the wrong direction, most of the time it is due to the parents’ failure to train the child in the way he or she should go.
- The behavior of children is a very revealing indicator of the kind and quality of parenting they have received.
- Parents who create an environment of affirming love, fair and consistent discipline, and challenging realistic expectations produce children who are confident, secure, high achievers, and mentally, socially, and emotionally well-adjusted individuals.
C. Ways parents provoke their children and how to avoid it.
Another fundamental principle of training up children is: Parents, provoke not your children to wrath… This means avoiding inconsistencies in our behavior toward our children. There are several ways parents provoke their children:
- Demonstrating double standards in front of them.
Double standards destroy a child’s sense of safety and security because there is no consistency of behavior.
- Making unrealistic threats or failing to follow through with our word.
Suppose you are in the habit of saying to your children things like, “If you do that again, I’ll break your neck!” Do this often enough and over time one of two things will happen: either your child will not believe you or soon he or she will come to disregard all your threats as meaningless. Either way you are headed for trouble with your child.
- Making promises and not fulfilling it.
Children remember these things and, as they grow older, resentment grows stronger in them.
- Inconsistent discipline.
- Creating the perception that one child is favored than the other.
Know the way and show the way. Don’t leave your children to fend for themselves. Be consistent in all your words and behavior so as not to exasperate your children or provoke them to wrath and rebellion. These are the fundamental guidelines that will help you succeed as parents in your responsibility and privilege to train up your children in the way they so that when they are old they will not turn from it.