Children wants and need to be instructed and disciplined in a way that the consequences and expectations are clearly communicated and consistently applied; this enables children obedience to parental instructions easy. In this blog post you are going understand:
- What genuine training, discipline and instructions are all about.
- The building blocks of effective parental instructions.
A. Definition of terms
- Training: to form thoughts and habits through practice. This must be done intentionally.
- Discipline: the state of order and children obedience to parental instructions; to correct or chastise. This must be motivated by love.
- Instructions: the act of teaching information.
A. The building block of effective instructions:
- This parenting model includes three core building blocks along with three modifiers.
- The modifiers tell us the spirit in which the building block needs to be applied.
- The building blocks are what we DO and the modifier describes HOW it is done.
B. Building Block 1: Communication That Commands.
- The building block, Communication, forms the basis of all relationships.
- The modifier, Command, refers to the ability to speak or direct with specific authority.
- Parents are to be seen as trusted leaders.
- For your communication to be commanding, you must be an authority figure in the home.
- Say what you mean and mean what you say: Below are four aspects of communication to ask yourself, is your communication:
- Clear: direct, unambiguous, plain, and free of abstraction?
- Concise: specific and intentional vs. loud and long?
- Commanding: presented with authority and assertive when it needs to be (volume has its place in military training).
- Controlled: reflects gentleness, kindness, and respect.
C. Building Block 2: Consequences With Modifier Of Compel.
- The building block, Consequences, teaches about the effects and outcomes of one’s behavior, whether positive or negative.
- The modifier, Compel, refers to the ability to convince others of the need for change.
- Consequences should be powerful enough to compel a child to reestablish self-control in a present situation.
- Consequences that are purposefully unpleasant can help the child recall from memory what happened the last time he or she disobeyed.
- Remember the Spank Six Point Plan:
- Only as a clear response to rebellion of authority (Not for accidents or lack of character development.)
- Check our hearts, motives, circumstances.
- Remove to a private place if possible.
- Offense clearly discussed and acknowledged.
- Spank applied under control and emotions in check.
- Pray, Assure, Restore. (Do not apologize for the consequence.)
- Purpose in consequences help your child to see you have their best interest in mind.
- Children will often rebel against consequences, but there is a part of their heart that will find an assurance in knowing they are NOT in charge.
D. Building Block 3 : Consistency With Modifier Of Confirming.
- The building block, Consistency, allows parents to provide children with a predictable set of guidelines and principles for living that make children’s obedience to parental instruction easy.
- The modifier, Confirming, refers to the ability to instruct with assurance and truth.
- Consistency is deeper than just “doing the same thing over and over.” It is a steadfast adherence to the same principles or course of action in an intentional parenting plan.
- There is a blessing when agreement and harmony guide the parents (father and mother) on how instruction communication, and consequences are applied.
- We must be consistent in attitude (i.e., the way we think, composure, being confident that we are doing the right thing).
- Inconsistent parenting: Prevents discipleship, Causes confusion, Breeds exasperation/anger in children.
- We are confirming when we reflect a definite, assurance that our composure and attitudes are establishing a measure of order and truth.
- Consistency in these areas confirms parent’s values, vision, and determination to stay the course for their child’s benefit.
Modeling a willingness to admit mistakes and take a different approach enhance children obedience to parental instructions.