Society, and especially the current culture, has not been kind to our children and teenagers. Just a few generations ago, many 17-19 year old were going off to war, leaving home to find work, and getting married. Increased responsibility usually produce increased maturity. But now, there is an offer of a cynical world of indulgence: unfiltered web and media access, music, alcohol, promiscuity, etc.
In this blog post you are going to understand:
- The five fundamental challenges every children faces today.
- The six character deviance of every children.
- The Ten facts every parents should know about their children’s brain.
- How to use boundaries to build the character of your children.
- The Three Roles of Boundaries Setting Parents.
A. The Five Fundamental Challenges Every Children Faces Today.
- Technology: 11 hours a day with media (screens, music, etc.); 20% have sent/received sexually explicit images by cell; 90% have viewed porn online.
- Knowledge and exposure to violence.
- Fragmented families.
- Neutral moral and religious values.
Parents are expected to clearly identify these challenges and be aware that they are part of the limiting factors to their Children’ Character development.
B. The Six Character Deviance Every Children Have.
Most children have these deviance and it does prevent them from exhibiting a proper character. Parents are expected to be aware of these character deviance in order to know how to handle their children’s character development. The character deviance includes the following:
- No natural hunger for wisdom/correction.
- Tendency towards excessive “that isn’t fair” thinking.
- Unwise choice of companions.
- Susceptible to sexual/addictive temptations.
- Focus on self.
- Limited awareness of needs of the heart.
C. Ten facts every parents should know about their children’s brain.
In order to be have an effective children’s character development, parents are expected to know the following facts about their children’s brain:
- Critical period of development.
- Blossoming brain.
- New thinking skills.
- Teen tantrums.
- Intense emotions.
- Peer pleasure.
- Measuring risk.
- Parents are still important.
- Need more zzzzzs.
- Perception challenges
D. How to use boundaries to build the character of your children.
Parents are expected to be the foundation of wisdom and support in order to help their children find success in the following:
- Search for independence and identity.
- Navigating physical and mental changes.
- Confronting personal morality and values.
- Pondering of sexuality and marriage.
- Questioning the future.
- Use of Boundaries and limit:
Parents need to be aware that their children are not born with boundaries. Wisdom is learning how to internalize the boundaries that are being provided by loving parents through sound discipline practices. Boundaries build self-control, responsibility, freedom and love. Healthy Heart = Healthy Life.
E. 3 Roles of Boundaries Setting Parents.
- Guardian: to provide protection and preservation, to provide a safe environment for learning and gaining wisdom. As the parent sets limits to their freedom, the children internalizes the limits as wisdom and slowly begins to be able to take care of themselves.
- Manager: to make sure things get done, goals are reached, demands and expectations are met. Since most children and teens lack self-discipline, it needs to be provide by other-discipline. Managers provide this type of discipline by controlling resources, teaching, enforcing consequences, correcting, chastising, maintaining order and building skills.
- Resources: to be the bridge to the outside world of resources that sustain and enhance life. As children enter the teen years, they need to learn how to receive and use responsibly what is given to them and gradually take over that role of meeting their own resource needs.
Children’s character development is the job of the parents. When parents engage themselves in building these boundaries for their children, they will find themselves successful in their children’s character development.